


A Loving Feeling

by Pres310



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, First Kiss, Good Parent Eda Clawthorne, Inspired by a Mitski Song, Mutual Pining, Running Away, Safe Space, Song: A Loving Feeling (Mitski), Songfic, Title from a Mitski Song, Yearning, sun/moon metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pres310/pseuds/Pres310
Summary: Amity has this intense loving feeling for her best friend in the entire Isle and she doesn't know what to do with it.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122





	A Loving Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a shorter fic, but I personally like how it came out!

_What do you do with a loving feeling_   
_When the loving feeling makes you all alone?_

  
Small hands as silvery pale as moonlight clutched themselves around a notebook, the hard spine cold and brown like petrified wood that had never seen the sun. As much as she could write about the warmth of the golden sun on its pages, the notebook could never replicate that sort of warmth. The sun was a golden, warm dark brown with hair that curled like fresh grape vines in the summer. She was the moon’s first friend- the first sort of warmth and affection the moon had ever felt. The first full hug that wrapped her in soft and forgiving clouds, the first pair of soft hands that traced the veins and bones of her wrist and hands with chest-achingly unfamiliar concern, the first corner of a mouth that had smiled so widely and so genuinely at her. 

  
_What do you do with a loving feeling_   
_When they only love you when you’re all alone?_

  
There was some point where both of them realized that they weren't exactly friends; they were something else. Something more. And this was agonizing to the moon- the awkward caution deprived her of the sun’s warm touch, of the quiet intimacy of them just reading together. There was some quiet understanding there that things were different, that if they continued like this they would do something that scared them. 

  
_Holding Hands under the Table,_

  
Amity’s hands, small slivers of moonlight, sat on top of the lunchroom table, drumming patiently. She glanced around the room, honey colored eyes searching eagerly for her best friend. She furrowed her brow, somewhat confused as to why she couldn't see-

  
“Boo!” Amity shrieked as a pair of hands tapped her on the shoulder and a mysterious figure whispered in her ear. Whipping around, cold fear and anger driving her forward until crashing as soon as she saw the sunny culprit.

  
“Luz! What was that?” Amity wheezed, trying to ignore that Luz had actually put in the effort to set her hands gently back down on Amity’s shoulders. And the pain she felt as Luz noticed this and pulled back.

  
Their conversation continued on, mostly like normal. Except Luz wouldn't put her arm around Amity’s shoulders like she usually would and it made Amity ache in a way she didn't want to untangle, because getting close to those threads hurt just as much. And when Luz tried to silently tap her knee beneath the table, before glancing around and then lacing her fingers with Amity’s, she couldn't tell if that was better or worse. She was holding hands with Luz, it should have been better. But it felt worse; closed off. Ashamed. Private.

  
_Meeting up in your bedroom,_

  
It was the first Azura Book Club after Luz was supposed to go home, and it had settled uneasy and heavily in everybody’s bones that she really was stuck. It made the room even more tense, somehow- like the gravity between them drove them further apart the closer they got. 

  
Amity thought Luz hadn't been paying attention to the book for a long while now. To be fair, she hadn't been, either. Luz mumbled as she read, voice quieting tiredly the further she got in the book. The two girls laying on the floor, Amity rested her cheek on Luz’s shoulder softly. She held her hand loosely, finally not under a table. Amity traced lazy and imaginary shapes on Luz’s hand with her thumb, and her breath drifted across Luz’s neck and collarbones like a midnight breeze.

  
_Telling each other it's all good._

  
Luz smiled at her for a moment, slowly book-marking the novel and setting it down. Amity’s heart beat swiftly and got caught amongst her ribs, stuck and aching and crying out. Luz’s eyes seemed to drift across Amity’s face and Titan below , _**Amity just wanted to know.**_

  
“I- I don't really know what to say or how to say this, but Amity- you've been one of the best friends I've ever had, and I think…”

  
“You're my best friend too,” the truth had a bittersweet taste on Amity’s lips. “I really do love you, Luz, I could never ask for a better friend.” Luz sighed in a shaky way that was new and yet… unreadable.

  
“I love you too,” just as Amity’s had, the words carried weight. Tension. They rose and fell. They carried something desperately unspoken and heavy and frightening and those same words broke something in both girls. “And I think that's why I want to tell you-”

  
_Kisses like pink cotton candy,_

  
Amity’s lips met Luz’s just as the sky tinged pink and gold and purple, when the sun and moon rested so lovely together in the sky. Her fingers rested awkwardly on Luz’s jaw and their shoulders pressed stiffly together, but this other new and unreadable thing didn't need to be pretty and it never could have been pretty in that exact moment. Amity couldn't have known that Luz would kiss her back. That Luz would keep kissing her. That maybe someday they’d be at one of the summer solstice festivals, lips sweet and sticky with cotton candy and rosy with blush. Maybe Amity’s hair would be a different color, if she let herself dream. Light Pink would be a nice color, she thought.

  
They don't know when they pulled away or when and if they kissed again. They don't know when they laid down, face-to-face, and put those breaking, frightening feelings into words. They don't know when. And they would always love that.

  
_Talking to everyone but me._

  
They didn't mean to avoid each other, things simply got in the way. One moment, they were linked together in Luz's sleeping bag, whispering to each other about everything and nothing. One moment, Amity finally slept calmly through the night. The next moment, they were back at school and somehow Amity’s parents must have known because Amity couldn't make a mistake and she couldn't make the mistake of mishearing them as being colder and sharper than usual. She just couldn't.

  
_Staying up late just in case_   
_You come up and ask to leave with me._

  
The night Amity ran away was not the night or day you were thinking of. Because Amity was, in actuality, not running away- rather, she was running towards. 

  
Luz stood silently in her open window, the moonlight glowing around her like a soft halo. Amity slipped out, bags slung over her shoulders, the twins grimly asleep. They already knew. She loved them, but she had to go- and they loved her too and so they let her. Maybe they would run towards as well.

  
The night passed by fast and ended tired. She could remember running, and she didn't know if she could remember the shouting. She didn't want to remember the possibility of shouting. Because the Owl House was strange and warm, like a fuzzy blanket and a mug of hot cocoa after a long day. Or a long 14 years. Same difference.

  
The Cold and fast river water of Blight Manor had soaked her clothes ice cold and heavy. It had pulled her under and drowned her until it left her chest empty and soggy and feeling like a raw wound. It haunted her with her own riverside ghosts

  
But back at home, there was a soft and thick blanket waiting. There was a mug of something warm and sweet on Amity’s tongue that drowned out the symbols crashing in her head. There were comforting words and questions that could wait until the next morning. 

  
There was Luz and that loving feeling, once aching and yearning and painful. A loving feeling that was now warm and delicate and growing. And Amity might know a little bit more about what to do with that Loving Feeling.


End file.
